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  • Writer's pictureMelissa Simpson

A Strong EQ

Having a high I.Q. (intelligence quotient) is good. It helps us in many areas of life. Only a dumb person would disagree, and nobody wants to be thought of as dumb. But what is also important, and in some ways, more so, is having a high E.Q. (emotional quotient). This is the ability to have self-control in all situations. Otherwise, we will succumb to our emotions and they will control us. We can always improve our I.Q. with study, but we can also fortify our E.Q. by increasing our B.Q. (biblical quotient). God gave us His Word, His grace, and the Spirit to help us to control…


“The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.” Proverbs 17:27

The reason we lack self-control is because of our unholy or unhealthy: desires; greed; anger; vengeance; fear; panic; or fatigue. We can gain self-control through the fruit of the Spirit: love; joy; peace; patience; kindness; goodness; faithfulness; and gentleness. The Holy Spirit strengthens us to control the ‘controlables’ - those being our: thoughts; mouths (words and tones); decisions; actions and finances. What we cannot control are people, the economy, accidents and the unavoidables. We also must understand that this fruit is called ‘self-control’. What this means is the Holy Spirit can only do so much to help us. We must all do our part.


“…Do you show contempt for the riches of His kindness, tolerance and patience… God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?” Romans 2:4

If God had no self-control, I for one, would not be here. He would have been done with me long ago. But because of His great tolerance and patience (restraint), He is kind to me and is not angry with me. Isaiah 1:18 says, God prefers to reason with me about my sin, and the vast difference between his ways and mine. So if God has self-control over the matters of my sin (all sin), He can handle the rest. To put it another way, if I can trust God with the worst that I have thrown at Him, I can have self-control over what is thrown at me. It is God’s restraint that gives me the strength to re-train myself.

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