"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Colossians 4:6
What is the point of language? Is it to say what is on your mind? Sure, that is one aspect, but it's not the primary reason. We are able to communicate so we can commune with God and then with others. Communion is a union based on common thoughts and beliefs, and it is only possible when we have a common language. Communion also produces community (to belong), which is what the kingdom of God is all about. What doesn't bring community (connection) is if we interrupt, one up, or shout others down to shut them up. This kind of 'communication' is avoided when our conversation is full of grace. To be gracious, we must…
SPEAK WITH LOVE AND…
"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal." I Corinthians 13:1
There are nine 'laws' of love from I Corinthians 13:4-5, and six of them are broken using our mouths. We can fulfill these 'laws' when we give: patience; kindness; humility; respect; peace and forgiveness with our tongues. This is why Solomon said the tongue has the power of life and death. It's frightening to think we have this power with what we say and how it is said. Jesus spoke in loving ways that brought life to people. Negative, 'ugly' words were not in Jesus' vocabulary - nor should they be in ours.
…CHOOSE TO LISTEN.
"To answer before listening - that is folly and shame." Proverbs 18:13
God gave us one mouth and two ears - we should use them in the appropriate measure. Given this, are you a 'retort oriented' listener, who can't hear because all you care about is what you have to say? If this is true, you are not communicating in love. But a 'response oriented' listener cares about others. People who love others listen intently so they can give accurate and appropriate answers. This desire to hear people makes them feel safe and opens their hearts to trust. The more they trust us, the more inclined they are to hear what God has to say.
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